SO, I get the level of excitement when a girl gets proposed to. The thrill of the moment, knowing that here’s someone that wants to spend the rest of their lives with her (which is a WHOLE other issue, one of self esteem), the planning of the wedding, the moving in together, kids…the whole nine yards. I get it. It’s a pretty big day for her. After all, she (potentially) has been waiting her entire life for this moment (again, MAJOR self esteem issues here, but whatever…).
However, when you (being the girl) is on your third or fourth marriage, is it the same feeling? The same giddiness, the same nervousness or is it “God, I hope I don’t fuck this one up too….”
I would be more inclined to believe it’s the latter. I’m not crushing your dreams or desire to be loved, but c’mon…This is NOT your first rodeo. PLEASE have a more realistic expectation of what married life is going to be like. If you are giddy, just like the first time, please pull your head out of your ass and realize that unless YOU change your expectations, it’s more than likely going to be more of the same.
Welcome to misery…
If it is your first time, please listen to the advice of those who have done this dance a few times. Learn from their mistakes, lest you become them. Marriage doesn’t fix your problems; it compounds them.
Before, when you were just shacking up (not judging here; think it’s a lovely idea, myself), if things got really bad, you could just leave, or tell his worthless ass to leave. Pack up your shit and just go. There’s a thousand other apartments; no need to live in your own personal hell.
HOWEVER, once you sign paperwork, it’s a WHOLE lot harder to leave or to make his ass leave. And God forbid if you had children with him; that really gums up the works.
Now, I understand that there are assholes who don’t show their true colors until it’s too late. I get that. But if you’re not happy with yourself, or your relationship, getting married is NOT a cure all.
Again, talk to those with the battle scars; you just may learn a thing or two. And if you have those battle scars, and you get another chance at Love, then I’m very happy for you. You deserve it. I’d be willing to bet, though, that your thoughts are more of the “don’t fuck this up again” variety, though.